Polishing my screws (huh?)

ONE MORE PAPER BEFORE I CAN HAVE MY TEMPORARY FREEDOM.

So close, but already I felt like "AH~ I did enough! Chillax let's go eat banana...". For course, it's impossible to 'did' enough unless one claimed so.

Exams make me fat. Sigh.

And i missed dancing terribly. I have a whole playlist of new songs waiting for me to be choreographed to. 

On a side note, I decided with 90% confidence that I will be a teacher in the future. The remaining 10% is just in case I changed my mind halfway my engineering course. But I felt more sense of fulfillment becoming a teacher.

Let's say if I were to be an engineer, and I have designed a new system that profits me gazillion brazillian dollars (it just rhymes), I think I might be happy and fulfilled for a while, before becoming lazy and fat and arrogant and saying "in-your-face" phrases to everyone (yes, I think I'm abit cocky when there's victory).

Whereas being a teacher, all I want to see is students growing up, students trying hard, students wanting to learn. I tried being a teacher before (for like two weeks and some Saturdays classes in my mom's school) and I know how difficult it is to being a just a teacher. But everytime they show their enthusiasm for something, it leaves an impact in me which lasts for like a long time, and I kinda like that feeling.

I hope my future is like what I pictured. I have been repainting my future for millions of times due to uncertainties. I hope that I do not need to repaint it for another million times.

Exams! Back to study. >.<

Dance Eat Sleep

Aiks.

Choreo project was fun, where every week, there will be 4-5 people showing a choreography of their own after MJ junior class. I had mine last week, and I kinda feel disappointed with myself. So many things to improve on! Sigh. And during the course of choreographing, I realised I have many many ZILLIONS of weakness in dancing. Totally makes me wished I didn't started off freestyling first.

On another note, I finally got a chance to perform! I have my structured performance team aka SPT which we will be performing on 25 November. Woohoo! Miss being on stage. HAHA narcissistic I am.

And another exciting note, I'm sharing my choreo in MJ for the first time! Lolz! Exciting can! And also nervous. *shiver*

Alright, now back to Tech Comm project. And I think I should start studying.

*groan* 

oh gwad.

should i just ask her? or leave it as it is?

i don't know what to do.

Wow, MJ Chalet is over!

And I finally got my first taste of battle!!! Woohoo!!! Never had such adrenaline rush before.

Everyone in the battle did a fanstatic job! Seriously, everyone should consider to join 1 vs 1 competitions outside NTU!

And yea, I think I got myself a new eye candy during the chalet. Shit I sounded like a girl, HOR~

Respect to all dancers in NTU! You guys just rox!

One Tonne Me very nice

Schedule so tight!

My pants can't be any thighter than my schedule.

It's like, project mode at one moment, then next moment dance mode, then later study, and the vicious cycle keeps repeating.

By the way, Kangli's sharing session was very over-the-hill superb!! Very motivating dance and music as well! Although I don't cut out for her style, the dance feels very meaningful. And of course, can't wait for her to share her house! I mean her house technique. (house is a type of dance style, so don't look at me like that please)

The coming week will be like, "Oh, hi! Welcome back to HELL WAHAHAHA". Sigh. Have to skip some lectures to meet professors for project proposal. Please let me have a good supervisor for my project!

And now, back to my earphones listening to dance battle's songs (lots of it). Oh my goodness so exciting can! First dance battle of my life! NERVOUS UNTIL LEGS SHAKE ALREADY.

Nobody knows who I really am

Admist the busy schedule, I need to pour out stuff that has been in my mind for a long time.

Sometimes I have to stop myself and ask: am I dancing for the right reasons?

In the past, dance was something very mystical and awesome. It's a magical phenomenon when someone steps out and dance. It makes people realised what life is all about. It's about inspiring others through your own movement. That was what it used to be in the past. That drives me to dance. Because others inspired me through the same way. And they expect me to do the same to others.

But recently I have to question myself.

Am I dancing for the right reason?

I felt like currently I'm dancing just to prove myself or everyone else something: that I'm good in dancing, that I deserve to get a hall next year, that I deserve to perform for events, that I just love dancing. Somehow this makes dancing so selfish and empty. Whatever I learn in HAD back then becomes nothing.

Have I forgotten my roots? Dance is suppose to be a passion, not a thing to prove.

I know this sounds deep. But it's deep enough to trouble me everyday.

Time to relearn my roots.

On the bright side, look down:

New shoes! Nice and cheap too. =D

Wah Lao Weh.

A lot of things going on at the same time. And previously in my life I thought that I know what is multitasking.

In NTU, multitasking is like trying to juggle 5 balls, standing on one feet, the other feet playing Dance Dance Revolution, and attending a mass video conference. Not sure where I get these random ideas, but yeah you get the picture.

Another metaphor: it's like trying to show a middle finger to them, but your fingers are so busy with many other stuff.

Regretted telling off seniors last year: Why aren't you enthusiastic enough? Too busy?

I believe in karma. I'm so ready to be told off by my juniors. >.<

Thank goodness I have dance as the best distraction I have from this hellish life. So looking forward for any dance opportunities.

But these things in life is challenges I have to face! I have to overcome it! RWAR! =D