Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Techniques of releasing stress (mainly and especially for STPM students):

1. EAT. Take a bar of chocolate, candies, ice-cream or overdue mooncakes. That will take stress off your head into your stomach. By the way, if you're feeling suicidal, chew on rabbit sweets. It will help you achieve your purpose (of suicide, that is).

2. DRINK. Drink tap water. Gives you opportunity to release stress through diarrhoea. Wait, I'm kidding, right?

3. SHOUT. Make your vocal cords go haywire. You may discover a talent in yourself and audition yourself into Malaysian Idol. Care not to break the judges' eardrums.

4. JIGGLE. Adjust your speakers to high volume, give yourself spaces around you and play the tune of "Moonlight Lady" by Julio Iglesias (father of Enrique Iglesias). Your body should be reacting towards the tune and your legs should be itchy by then. Make a fool out of yourself to prove a point to your parents what stress has did to you so far.

5. SLEEP. Before sleeping, make your parents aware of your stress level by counting sheep LOUDLY and in decimal points.

So far I have practiced the first four techniques and the results are obvious. My stress for studies have decreased significantly but so is my dignity. I have yet to try technique no.5. I'm figuring out the consequences...

Note that I'm not responsible for your actions. Just blame your sanity.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Boom! Headshot.